OVER8D: Drug Free Bookmark

Oh hello.

First of all, due to Thanksgiving and the TJ test coming up, Cheryl hasn’t had time to do a That’s What She Said post. Check back next month. Boo hoo hoo to you too.

I’d like to announce that OVER8D now has a Drug Free policy, stating that if you’re high while reading this, you suck and nobody loves you. Thank you.

If only real drug free campaigns worked that well. Don’t get me wrong, some do. Chuck Norris’ Kick Drugs Out of America comes to mind. But that’s Chuck Freaking Norris. The rest of the campaigns are crap, because [racist alert] they’re made by middle-aged white ladies who have no idea what works and what doesn’t. So they came up with the SAFE AND DRUG FREE BOOKMARK CONTEST.

In case you don’t know what it is, it’s basically a contest where you design a bookmark with a positive-ass message about being safe and drug free. The only problem is that they think that a positive-ass message doesn’t include pictures of things like drugs, beer, bongs, Ke$ha, et cetera. Which is good in theory, but that means WE CAN’T DRAW A MARIJUANA LEAF WITH A X OVER IT. So we’re stuck with drawing pictures of happy people doing happy things with the caption “Safe and Drug Free” over it, because that makes total sense. They look like freaking High School Musical.

Understandably, not too many people entered. I guess the middle-aged white ladies decided that they were too lazy to just make their own damn positive message, so they made it a freaking REQUIRED ASSIGNMENT.

Draft is due Monday. Seriously?

First of all, who the hell uses bookmarks anyway? You either memorize the page number, or just turn to a random page and start reading. Or you sometimes use the little fabric thing that’s attached to some of them. But nobody uses bookmarks specially made for this purpose, right?

Second of all, I don’t think they’ve considered that the people that this message is supposed to be going to, the druggies, are too damn lazy/high to care. So the only people that could possibly even look at the bookmarks are people like me, who don’t do drugs and are stuck doing this project and need inspiration. So in other words, we have people who don’t do drugs telling other people who don’t do drugs to not do drugs.

Now that’s one helluva positive message.

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About Zeal An

I'm a high schooler living in the 'burbs of Fairfax, Virginia. I blog to vent my anger. Please enlighten yourself at your own convenience.
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2 Responses to OVER8D: Drug Free Bookmark

  1. William Li says:

    I think this assignment is just a bunch of gay bullshit implemented by the Gay and Bullshit HQ, AKA Fairfax County. I mean if our teachers and principal had told us like 10 million times during our wee-elementary days, “Don’t do drugs, you’ll die”, then I think the message is pretty clear. Young minds are freaking easy to manipulate, and it is clear that FCPS is not like one of those all-black schools where pretty much half the school does drugs (no racism intended, this is actually a true example that is numerous across the US). The Gay and Bullshit board members obviously had no educational value in P.E so they just threw in random bullshit had had nothing to do with the curriculum (which by the way, is completely fine in my opinion).

    • Zeal An says:

      Let’s not use colorful language.
      Like red and orange and yellow and green and blue and purple and black and white and brown and pink and cyan and magenta and lime and navy and tan and maroon and

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