The three types of Asians

First off, don’t call me racist. I’m Asian. So I’m insulting myself.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s three types of Asians in this world

The Nerd: The stereotypical nerd that you first think of when you hear the word “Asian”. You know, they LIVE for math. They spend their spare time poring over calc textbooks. They go to, like, twelve different math after-school camps. They’re pretty much guaranteed to go to TJ. They’ll go up to you with a math problem written down on a piece of paper and tell you to solve it. There’s not too many of these out there, but just enough to keep the stereotype going. Which is good, because I don’t like being constantly bombarded with math problems.

The Rebel: The thing about rebels is that they’re pretty much the same across all ethnicities.  Mohawks. Tattoos. Piercings. Grades not so hot. Trying all the stuff they shouldn’t. And it really sucks for the Asian gangsters’ parents. You can picture them sobbing to themselves on the kitchen table like “Boo hoo hoo how our own chirdren dishona our famry BOO HOO HOO!!!1!!” Not too many of those, either. Thank god.

The Regular: These make up the bulk of Asians in school today. We’re a lot like everyone else at the school. Except we make better grades. But other than that, we’re pretty much the same. If you’re reading this you’re probably a regular Asian. I count myself as a regular Asian. And I like regular Asians. I like being around people like me.

Because I’m awesome.

And Messenger Moose has delivered another birthday message! He told me to tell you that it’s for Mrs. Toweson.

I don't know enough about you to make you a funny birthday message. So enjoy this kumquat.