The Wait(list)

I got my TJ letter today. I’m waitlisted.

For those of you clueless people here, TJ chooses all the Asians who they consider worthy, but some of those Asians drop out and probably force their parents to undergo quadruple bypass surgery. As a result, a few slots are opened up, so TJ chooses a waitlist of 50 people who are worthy but not really to fill those spots. And that’s me.

So this is what the TJ gods think of me. A waitlist is the nice way of saying “You suck, but we’ll consider admitting you to balance out the geniuses.” Nice to know.

You guys should know by now how I feel about TJ. Click through if you’re feeling nostalgic.

Like I said, there are only 50 waitlisted people out of the 10 kajillion Asians that tried out. Everyone else either got admitted or rejected.

The people who got admitted were probably like “Oh. Whoopee.” and then went back to programming an entire computer in binary.

But the people that didn’t? Hoboy. Probably half of them genuinely wanted to get in and genuinely felt that was the only possible route through life. If you’re one of those people, seriously. Get a damn life. You won’t die, you won’t lose any major organs, and chances are you’ll still be successful in life. So don’t freak out and instead be happy that you (hopefully) did your best and that you’ll actually have some free time in high school.

The other half of them probably tried out for the same reason I did- parental pressure. These are the kids that either don’t give a flying poo or do not want to go to TJ with all their might. (I count myself somewhere in the middle.) So these kids just shrug it off and go back to being happy, productive, normal middle schoolers. If only I could say the same about their parents.

I can see it now. The TJ phone lines are clogged up because there are so many angry Indians dialing the 1-800 number. When, after the amount of time that it takes for Mrs. Terry to quiet the cafeteria down, someone actually connects to a TJ rep, this is the conversation that goes down:

TJ rep: TJ Admissions, how may I help you?

Angry parent: [read this in the most racist, stereotypical Indian accent you can imagine for added hilarity] WHY HAS MY AMAZING AND WONDROUS CHILD NOT BEEN ADMITTED TO TJ? HE HAS AN ENORMOUS BRAIN AND HIS POTENTIAL SHOULD NOT GO UNCULTIVATED.

TJ rep: I’m sorry, sir, but we are not allowed to disclose any details regarding an applicant’s scores.

Angry parent: [are you doing the Indian accent thing? just checking] ARE YOU RETARDED? MY SON IS SOLVING ADVANCED MATHEMATICS AND PHYSICS PROBLEMS THAT HAVE BAFFLED THE WORLD’S TOP INTELLECTUALS FOR YEARS IN HIS SPARE TIME. HE HAS A 4.5 TRILLION GPA AND YOU ARE STILL NOT ADMITTING HIM? THIS IS A LAWSUIT!

And then three weeks later in court the jury can’t make a ruling because they’re too busy laughing their asses off.

I say that TJ should set up one of those automated phone thingies where you dial the number and then you get a message from the Cheery Phone Lady.

“For TJ admissions, press 1.”

“For everything else, press 2.”

“Para español, abre el numero tres.”

When you press 1, you’re forced to listen to some hold music by Mariah Carey.

Here, play this to set the mood.

Every so often you’re given a break from the music to listen to the Cheery Phone Lady tell you that Your Call Is Important and We Appreciate Your Patience while we wait for the lines to clear up. Except there is no line. It should just be that recording and nothing else. Just to see how pissed the parents are.

But even worse are the parents who choose to take their anger out not on the TJ people, but their kid. They yell. They scream. They scold. It might even get physical. (shudder)

Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of parents who are totally cool about it, who just shrug it off and get on with their lives. But if you’re a parent who takes their anger out on their kid over TJ, hoboy. Do I have some choice words for you. Unfortunately, I can’t write them here, lest Mr. Shah get all over me again. But seriously, get a damn life. Your kid (hopefully) tried his/her best, and that’s all you’re gonna get. If your kid truly deserved to get in, life is a douchebag sometimes. If your kid wasn’t good enough, then life is still a douchebag, but still don’t get all over him/her. Just appreciate what you have. Your kid won’t die, he/she won’t lose any major organs, and chances are he/she will become a successful adult. What more can you ask for?

And meanwhile, here I sit, on the waitlist. On that fine line between admittance and rejection. So it’s just waiting, and waiting, and more waiting.

And that goes double for the people who actually want to get in.