This is a new feature called Lost and Found, which celebrates the awkwardly awesome things found in the humble cardboard box by every bathroom. If you’ve got one you’d like to share, click here for my submission form. Thanks!
One shoe. One. Like how are you supposed to get home with just one shoe? -Mrs. Hanna
Reaction: Maybe that guy just got his leg amputated and decided to leave his extra shoe in the lost and found box in case anybody wanted one.
Deodorant. Stuffed into a sock. -Mrs. Dombro
Reaction: There has got to be a better way to make your socks smell better. Like maybe you could try USING A GODDAMN WASHING MACHINE.
I find old food all the time. I’ll open them up and they’ll have all these ants crawling around. And there’s curdled milk, and green peanut butter and everything. -Mr. Shah
Reaction: Green peanut butter? How the hell? Notice he didn’t say “peanut butter with green mold on it”. Oh no. The peanut butter itself turned green. Now unless somebody got creative with the food coloring,
A copy of Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus. -me
Reaction: My friend’s little brother is in first grade. He hates those books. So does his entire class. And you’re in middle school. What’s wrong with this picture?
Men’s Lotion. Family Size. -last year
Reaction: Mr. Shah took this home… he said he could use it… if you’re reading this, Mr. Shah, and I know you are, how much of it is left? Knowing how large it is, I’d say you still have enough to last you for about seventeen more years. Heh.
Anyway, today’s post turned out kinda crappy because I only have five items to share. Hopefully next month we’ll have more for me to react to. If you see something, submit it and we’ll reward you with A WARM FUZZY FEELING INSIDE!!!! WOAH!!!!