After seven years of school, I’ve known a lot of bus drivers. And I’ve managed to sort them into three main categories.
THE MEAN CRANKY OLD LADY: Always an old lady. Dunno why. Always yelling at us about being too loud, not sitting down, or crap like that. “Oh you kids are just so immature. I don’t even have to yell at the kindergarten kids.” And then you ask the kindergarten kids and she yells at them too. After the first week everyone hates her. The one we had always threatened to “write us up” or something. I have no idea what that means. But she got so pissed with how *ahem* loud we were that she actually did write us up. And they threw it away. I don’t know how pissed she was after that… I think that might be why she doesn’t drive us anymore.
THE MOM: I never got why moms and bus drivers were such a wonderful combination. Kinda like roast beef slices and mustard. (Seriously.) But they’re moms. So they have kids. Usually within the age range of 1.5 to 3. And the thing about kids in that age range is that they’re annoying. Every five seconds it’s a “MOMMY I WANNA GO POTTY!!!!!” or a “MOMMY I WANT TACO BELL!!!!!!!” They crack us up the first few days, but after a month or so it gets annoying. It would be nice to have a conversation without knowing the current condition of a kid’s bladder, amirite?
EL NO HABLO INGLES: A really friendly guy. He somehow manages to keep his mouth shut and just drive like he was paid to do. So everyone likes him by day 1. Great, right? Except there’s that one time when he gets lost. That’s not so bad, because everyone screws up sometimes. But when he asks you for directions…
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!!!!!!!”
So just in case you’re stuck in that situation, derecha means right and izquierda means left. Thanks, Google Translate!