OVER8D: Dress Code

The good folks at RCMS constantly like to remind us of the dress code. They’ve got posters and everything, and they even did a stupid dumb skit on the morning news about “YOU GOT DRESS CODED, FOOL!!!1!” Okay, I understand that they don’t want us showing up in one of Lady GaGa’s rejected old outfits, but some of these rules are just dumb.
Like one of the rules says that straps have to be three fingers thick. Hold up three fingers. If a strap is that thick, it’s not a strap anymore, okay? That’s suspenders. And the only time it’s acceptable to wear those is if you were in the Music Man and played the role of Marcellus Washburn.

Faces replaced for privacy reasons.

Why aren’t we allowed to wear hats and hoods? Believe me, there’s a LOT of embarrassing haircuts these days. And it’s not like there’s a security threat or something. You can’t hide a knife or a gun under a baseball cap. Assuming that it fits. I suppose that if you had a hat the size of a pizza box you could hide something. But who would want to wear that? You’d look dumber than Marcellus up there. Which is really saying something.

No clothing made out of see-thru materials? I didn’t even know they made those. So I think that’s pretty useless.

No backless clothing? I don’t see the point of banning that. Because there’s nothing wrong with seeing someone’s back. I’m sure there’s someone at RCMS who’s gonna become a massage therapist or something like that, so you’re actually preparing that guy to become a successful worker in today’s economy or something like that. And noone’s gonna shove their hand down there. Because that’s just disgusting. And it says that you really need better things to do. Like blogging!

Apparently basketball jerseys aren’t allowed, either. Because you can see the person’s armpits. What’s wrong with seeing someone’s pits? There’s a difference between armpit hairs and MOOBS. Which I won’t go into further detail about.

The one thing I WILL agree with, though, is the rule on mini-skirts. I don’t see why you’d want to go out in public with nothing covering your junk than two inches of fabric. Like the wind could go whoosh and then every pervert in the world would have a wonderful, panoramic view of your…

…

I’m gonna say it…

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Mickey Mouse underpants. You totally fell for it.

And Messenger Moose has delivered another birthday letter! It’s addressed to Ms. Piazza.

Don't forget to play the Steelers song. We don't want you to freak out again, mkay?